How my feelings were affected by a machine today

Feb 15, 2016 | 14 comments


I seem to have abandoned you over the last week. No Shrove Tuesday pancakes and no Valentines suggestions either. There are lots of suggestions from last year and the year before for lovely Valentine day things. I hope you did whatever you wanted on Sunday, and if you wanted to be frugal, that you had a lovely frugaltastic and romantic time.

A good friend wanted to take us to a nearby pub for Sunday lunch. Yes, on Valentine’s. She wanted to try the carvery there. I can’t bear carveries. Oh dear. And yes, not only was it as bad as I thought it would be, it managed to be even worse. Bearing in mind I am on this high fat, low carb diet ATM, I had some venison, which was lovely. Tasty with garlic and rosemary, but cold. I also had all the lowest carb veg I could find, which was as average as all carveries. And cold. Didn’t say any of that to her of course, she was being very generous.

When we got back, I went guess where. Yes, of course, up the gym. I seem to spend all my time lately up the gym, recovering from being up the gym or eating all the food my coach has told me to eat.

Did my weekly weigh in and measure today and it ruined my entire day! Such a different mood from last week. I have felt despondent all day and that I wasn’t getting anywhere, on the verge of tears quite often. I’ve also felt pretty cross that standing on a weighing machine has dictated how I have felt.

I’ve just come back from a vigorous workout and I simply had to talk to my coach to get me through the next few days. He told me off for weighing or measuring at all, he said that I should only be weighed or measured at my reviews. But I’ve weighed myself twice a day for as long as I can remember and it would be a very hard habit to break. Wonder if I should try? Wonder if I want to try.

I felt a lot better after my pep talk and the workout. The walk back down from the gym was in the dark and it was wonderful. The moon was out and shining brightly and the stars were sparkling beautifully in a completely clear sky. I tried to capture it on my phone, but it hasn’t really worked. The owls were hooting back and forth, there was the gentle sound of running water from a stream somewhere and the air was crisp and fresh.

During the last week I tried some cloud bread which is made from eggs and cream cheese. Having gone from having to google it to find what on earth it was, it now seems to pop up everywhere. It was interesting, but I can’t say I actually liked it much and I doubt if I’ll make it again. I found it quite flabby and when I tried to have some cheese sandwiched between two, it was very difficult to eat as it was flopping about everywhere and the cheese was dropping out.

I’ve been eating some strange concoctions, starting off with some meat or fish and adding a few veg, then some intense fat. Lots of coconut milk powder, double cream, butter or olive oil. Not anything I can write about as a recipe. I have another review on 1st March and the nutritional balance is likely to change again. I’m hoping for less fat and more carbs!



  1. Lesley

    I must say I don’t like this diet as much as the previous one. I’m having a review on the 1st and am hoping it will be changed again then.

  2. Anne

    I love your Blog Lesley , I visit your site a few times a week. Regarding all this special diet , I’m not sure it’s that healthy . A balance of all nutrition is surely better than high fat ( as a health care professional I wouldn’t ever recommend this for my patients ) I usually advise , eat less move more ! And that usually does the trick. Keep up the good work on the blog ( and at the gym ).

  3. Lesley

    I think cloud bread is quite the thing at the moment. If I do make it again, I shall try toasting it, a couple of people have suggested that.

    I’m desperate for some weight loss, and prepared to stick with the programme for a while yet, even with none to speak of as yet

  4. Sue

    That is so weird I had never heard of cloud bread until this morning and then bam …. twice in an hour. It must be better toasted to get rid of the flabbiness.

    I hope you are feeling more motivated now, there can be some terrible peaks and lows when you are on a diet/fitness regime.

    The only thing I have ever really felt worked for me was the Harcombe Diet and Atkins when it first came out. The weight just dropped off me and I felt fantastic, unfortunately I don’t eat meat now so I couldn’t attempt it again.

    I’m glad the exercise is helping with your back, it’s important to get that sorted out whilst you are still relatively young. (Haha … didn’t mean that to sound quite the way it did!!)

  5. Katherine

    It is always useful to be fit and strong. Next time you have a load of manure delivered, for example, it will be no problem. It must be good to know your back is straightening.
    I looked up leptin resistance. It was interesting and certainly fits the fact that once you’ve been fat, it’s very dIfficult to stay thin. It looks as though you can regain your sensitivity to leptin, but it didn’t seem terribly well researched. I wonder why not as there is so much money in weight loss. I might have another Google on the subject to see what other findings there are.

  6. Lesley

    Oh well done Chrissie, you must be very pleased. That much makes a big difference
    Loving the idea of the pink bits

  7. Lesley

    I do feel a lot fitter Katherine. I have developed impressive biceps, I can lift more and do more reps. I can work at a high level of exertion for prolonged periods. I have had a curve at the top of my back for as long as I can remember. One of the things my coach is doing is setting me tasks to strengthen my back, and that curve is definitely straightening out.
    I feel a lot better today, yesterday was a bad day!

  8. Lesley

    No I didn’t try toasting it. It might have helped. I may make it again, but my diet will be changed again on 1st March and I’m hoping for more carbs!

  9. Chrissie

    I am hopeless on my own so my friend and I have been going to slimming world together, weighed in today, she has lost 3 and me 2 so I have now lost my first stone and she a half!60 on friday so having pink bits put in my hair at the salon tomorrow to celebrate getting there!

  10. Katherine

    You are building strength and stamina and it sounds as though you enjoy the exercise so those are all good things. With a lot of diets, you are in a worse position than when you started if you give up, but with this there are other gains.
    Physically, what can you do now that you couldn’t when you started?

  11. Veronica Vatter

    Did you try to toast the cloud bread a bit? I’ve heard that helps…

  12. Lesley

    Well, my coach gave me a pep talk to raise my motivation. I am prepared to stay with the process still. They are certain it works and I don’t have any success on my own, so what have I got to lose …. Boom boom!

  13. Annabel

    Sounds a bit of a struggle – have been researching leptin resistance – try no snacking and three meals a day, nothing at least three hours before bed.

  14. Chrissie

    So sorry you feel so despondent, it is miserable to try so hard and not be happy with the results. Do you find this diet a little unrealistic,it seems so hard. I too am trying to lose weight but I could not do what you are doing, I take my hat off to you . I do hope you achieve what you want as you are obviously working hard and hard work deserves results. Go girl!

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