I haven’t been putting much from my life on here for a while and that’s because some pretty difficult stuff has been going on.
My eldest daughter has been having health issues for a few years now – pretty serious ones.
Very briefly – she has a serious problem with her back, but needed to lose weight so the required operation could be done. She tried and tried, but in the end went with bariatric surgery. That resulted in sepsis, and the scans for that showed suspicious shadows.
Two little lentil sized ones ended up with her getting most of one lung removed. I was shocked by that and couldn’t understand why such little shadows meant such a big removal. Suspicions began to form.
After recovering from that, she needed a hysterectomy for abnormal thickening. And after recovering from THAT, she had to have her gall bladder removed. The professionals were saying that all these things were not connected, but by now, I wasn’t believing that.
All was going swimmingly, as best as it could in the circumstances and reassurances were given at every stage that everything was caught really early. So when she and her husband went for what they thought was a routine follow up one day in May, they were shocked to the core to be told that she was stage 4, and nothing more could be done. The prognosis was 6 months and we’d be lucky to still have her by Christmas.
My lovely daughter is now a very sick woman and I can’t believe we haven’t got her for much longer. It’s utterly heart breaking. I’m struggling with the grief, breaking into tears at the drop of a hat, just typing this is through tears.
We had a family Christmas a few weekends ago, and this picture was taken then. The day utterly wore her out. The smiles hide a lot of pain, physical and emotional.
I’ve been spending a lot of time at her house, making the most of the time we have left.
I miss talking to you guys, so I’ll try and start posting updates of what’s happening more often. Mostly much lighter than this one!
Thanks Sue. I’ll be down there again tomorrow> I still can’t quite believe that in a short time she won’t be there
Thanks Nicki. I’m spending as much time with her as I can
I was so sorry to read about this, briefly on Facebook and now in more detail here. She has been through so much, as have you all. All that I can do is send you every scrap of my love and say that you and all your family are in my thoughts at this heart-breaking time. Make the most of every precious second you have together and forget al l about social media. With love. xx
Lesley I read your post with great sadness. What a terrible blow for your family. My thoughts are with you and hope that you can spend precious time together, making memories that will last forever.
Thanks P J. I appreciate the support
Thanks Caroline, and hello neighbour! I need all the hugs I can get right now
Thanks Jacki, me and the girls have had some pretty tough times to get through already. This is so much worse
Thanks Susan – no, it most certainly isn’t fair
Thanks Kath, I appreciate the support
So sorry to hear about this My best wishes go to you and your family
Lesley, what terrible, terrible news. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter, I just can’t imagine what you and your family are going through now.
I have followed your blogs for a while now, and feel I know you – especially as you used to live down the road from me in Leigh and are not too far away in Heathfield. Whenever we pass through that way I think of you.
Please know that I will be thinking of you and sending virtual love and hugs.
Lots of love
Caroline xx
Losing your child is the worst possible thing anyone can imagine. It changes both you and your life . One thing I found was it made me less fearful. I know that nothing in future can ever be as bad as the death of my son so do your worst. I’ll survive. Sending you strength and love Lesley, but I can tell you have both in droves xxx
I am so sorry for your family….life isnt fair sometimes
Sending hugs and comfort to you all..
Spend as much time as you can with your Daughter Lesley.. We will all be here when you are ready to pick up where you left off.
You are in my thoughts and I wish I could magically take the heart ache away.
Keep strong xxx
Thanks Dawn, I spend a lot of time with her while I can
Thanks Anne-Marie, I need all the hugs I can get atm
Thanks Selena. So sorry to hear about Dad, difficult times. Hope the biopsy comes back with good news
Heartbreaking news. Hope you can spend as much time as possible with your daughter and….and…. that’s it! Sending love. xx
So sorry to hear your news Lesley.
Sending strength and a virtual hug to you and yours. X
Hi Lesley,
I have followed your posts for a few years now, and I am so sorry to be reading this extremely sad news.
I myself have had bariatric surgery, and also have a thickened womb wall.. which I am now awaiting the results of the biopsys.
Just 10 days ago we found out that my Dad has Stage 4 Lung Cancer, which due to his age of 85, is untreatable – but never should a parent
have to say Goodbye to a child, and I am so very very sorry Lesley.
Lots of Love and hugs to yourself, your husband and your daughter. x
Thank for the support Jean
I am so sorry. My thoughts and love go out to you and your family.
Thanks Pat, I appreciate it
Thanks Kath. Spending as much time as I can with her
Thanks Annabel. Yes, trying to store up memories
Thanks Lynda. I really need that support right now
Thanks Pat. It’s horrendous
So so sorry Lesley. I have no words but send love and strength to you x
Dear Lesley, i am a nutrition scientist and want you to know, there us always healing possible. If the statistics say, someone has so and so many days left, that means, that is what they expect. It is not set in stone. There are always people healing from the worst things. If you want to not give up. You can google “Chris beat cancer” to see some examples. I myself can offer some help too, if you want it. I understand that everybody has to choose their own way to cope with such hard things . I wish you all the best! Kerstin
Time with you daughter , is more important than this page Lesley . Massive hugs thinking of you xx
So sorry to hear this Lesley – I lost my daughter at 27 nearly 13 years ago and understand something of what you are going through. All you can do is love your times together no matter how long. One day at a time x
I can’t think of anything to say that hasn’t been said before Lesley, except that your friends are here for you, and I know you are putting on a very strong and brave front.
On the days when you can’t do that, and want to rage or weep, please be assured you can call your friends for support! Life is cruel, as I know only too well, but don’t ever feel you have to suffer alone. Xx
Absolutely heartbeaking and a mothers worst nightmare. It brings me to tears even reading this because as a mother, we put ourselves in your shoes. I lost my nephew this year to cancer too and there is always such a huge empty space when we lose someone. Losing a child is the worst ever and just not the natural way of things.
Spend as much time as you need with your loved ones, the rest really loses its value, doesn’t it in these situations.
Thanks Vicki – I’m very aware of time passing atm, and how very little there is for us
Never easy when a loved one has a terminal condition and no one expects their child to die before them . There are no words but make the most of every day . And never mind the posts ! We will still be here for you .
Thanks Karen – it’s an absolute nightmare, everything is revolving around time spent with her right now
Thanks Mary – I’m trying to spend as much time with her as I can
I’m sorry sorry to hear this. I lost my Mum recently and am slowly coming to terms with it
…..but the thought of losing a child must be so hard on you and the rest of your family. Please stop posting and just live with the time you have left with your daughter.
Thanks Jane – she is about 10 years old in my head. I have a favourite picture of her from when they were little, and no matter how old they get, that’s how I think of them
I’m so sorry Lesley. Make the most of every second with her. Love and prayers for you all. Mary
Thanks Ruth – I appreciate your support
Thanks Natalie – I really need that strength right now
Thanks Chris – It’s so much the wrong order of things. I’m lucky enough to still have my mother, who is 96.
So very sorry to hear this. There can be no pain worse than watching our babies suffer. Sending you all love and strength in this difficult time xxx
Oh Lesley what sad news. My heart goes out to you all. Be assured of my thoughts and prayers. XX
I cannot fathom what you are all going through. There are no words, just heartfelt strength and love to send through the ether for now and times ahead. Bless you all x
So sorry to hear your sad news – no mother should have to go through this.Love and prayers
Thanks Ulvmor, I’m spending as much time as I can with her
I’m so sorry. There are times when there are no right words. I hope that your time together will be filled with love.
Thank you. We are making as many memories as we can, but of course, it will never be enough
Thank you Sue. It feels like talking to friends.
It really is very sad, and painful
Lesley, I am so, so sorry to read this. My heart aches for you. Enjoy every moment, make as many happy memories as you can. You are in my prayers xx
I enjoy your blog so much and I feel like I know you in a funny way just like a friend. Life can be very cruel and I just wanted to say I’m sorry this sadness has come to you
Thanks Val, any support is valued right now
Thanks Angela, that means a lot
Lesley I am so sorry to read this post.
My heart is aching for you all. You have many followers out there in blogland who I am sure will feel the same.
Although the quantity of life left is short, may its quality be good
Words seem trite – but know that she [and you] are loved and precious
I wish my thoughts could help you all. Sending love and virtual hugs. Xxxxxx