I took my daughter to see Nutcracker last Saturday at an Eastbourne theatre and it wasn’t what I was expecting at all. It was done by a very enthusiastic, but not very skilled, local dance company which seemed to consist mainly of little girls.

On Tuesday when I went to hers, we watched a full performance from a Russian company on YouTube, and we may well watch a Royal Opera House version as well.

After the ballet, we started watching It’s a Wonderful Life, my favourite film, but it’s such a long film, and the days are so short, that it was getting dark after one hour of it, so I tootled off home as I’m not keen on driving in the dark these days, and it was forecast a ground frost that day as well, and I really hate slipperiness.

Possible Hospice

When I went on Tuesday, Tracey was emotional and upset. Her pain control has not been great recently and they are having problems getting what they need sometimes. She is considering going into the local hospice for a couple of weeks for a bit of relief, she is SO fed up of discomfort and pain and she’s hoping they can get on top of it more easily there. Her mobility is getting more restricted all the time and breathlessness is increasing.

I hugged her for several hours on Tuesday to try and help with the sadness and pain she was experiencing. It is so distressing when administering mummy hugs like that to remember that pretty soon I won’t be able too.

She has paid for her funeral already, one that doesn’t have a funeral service, they collect you and dispose of your remains without anyone being there. I’ve promised her I’d write the eulogy that I would have given and give it to her to read together. This has changed since it will no longer be in public, so I can be more personal. I’ve tried many times to start doing it, but it’s so hard, I just sit and cry. Even writing this has set me off. I will do it.

The Towner

This year, the Towner Museum hosts the Turner Prize. Always a mixed bag, as it is at a local gallery, I thought I’d take my 16 year old grand daughter to have a look at it, and if Tracey is feeling well enough, I can wheel her around it. I particularly want to see the beautiful Barbara Walker drawings. The sculpture outside the museum is really good too and is made up of a variety of date syrup cans. This is the best image I could find of it online.

Soups This Week

It has become customary for me to take a soup to my daughter each time I visit, and we try to make it it a different one each time.

Soups this week are chicken and sweetcorn from Kwoklyn Wan’s book, Chinese Takeaway

and a tomatoey one using a Halloween pumpkin as the base.