This is a final update about my daughter Tracey. She is being cremated on Wednesday 3rd Jan. It’s a pure cremation, so there is no ceremony. It will be very strange knowing that that is going on, and not being there. It’s what she wanted. I hated the idea at first and wanted to be able to say goodbye at a funeral. But to be honest, I think it was nicer this way. Sam and I went to see Tracey on the morning after she had died and sat with her for quite a while. Holding her hand, stroking her hair and kissing her face. My goodness, that last sentence really hit home, I’m in bits now!
Her last year was well lived and we made many lovely memories. We spent a lot of precious time together, said many beautiful things, did wonderful things together, laughed and cried many tears.
I thought it would be nice to show you some pictures taken during her last year.
It’s now just 11 days since Tracey died, but I’m feeling better than I anticipated. Maybe that’s because I’ve been adjusting to her loss for most of 2023. Having said that, I’m still reduced to tears by many things, including writing this. This coming year will be hard with so many ‘firsts’ – first birthday without her etc. I’m going to see her husband and daughter today and I think that will be difficult, seeing her things about the place.
We managed to enjoy Christmas, which I wasn’t at all sure about. Left to myself, I would have ignored it. But Sam wanted to celebrate. So we gathered at her house, enjoyed a lovely lunch, played silly games, had a laugh and raised a glass. I’ve packed away now what few Christmas decorations I had up. I’ve not been going to anything social at all for months. The choir starts up again on the 7th, so I think I’ll go to that, Then ease myself back into society gradually.
Sam has set up a GoFundme page to help support the invaluable work that the hospice does. It takes an incredible £17,000 a DAY to run St Wilfred’s, all donations as they receive no funds at all from central government. If you can contribute a £ or two, it will all go to continuing their incredible work.